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Revisitations

by Jack Frederick

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1.
Pentecost 05:27
When you died, I had feared that your soul, once released, would not know where to go. All of our friends, they all wanted to know. Try as we could, we could not let you go. There's too many chiefs and not enough indians. How are we to ensure that you venture from the grave? So that night, when came the witching hour, we decided, if it lay within our power, we should try as hard as we could for some way to summon you. You appeared, looking just like you'd been. You said "be not afraid of the holes in my skin". Every single word you said was like a dagger. We were all unsure exactly what the matter was, so we continued asking you what death was like. But the rising sun, you said, would end you, and you had to leave us, so I said "Before we send you, can you tell us anything about the afterlife?" "We fall in front of trains, give chains to poor wall sockets, we dance with weather vanes, when lightening strikes, we will not die. Unhealthy habits made will one day spell disaster, but if your body breaks, if your organs fail, you will not die. Because, I'm unsure what you're asking me for. How can time choose to only move forward?"
2.
Your Thread 03:41
We don’t meet too often and with caution always our third. We know we know all the consequences in every word. And I know it’s so below you, long ago you let it slide, but I’m still dressed to kill and eat my fill, it’s still on my mind. You’re holding out your hands to say there’s no hard feelings, there’s no hard feelings. You’re hoping you can point the way and if there’s no hard feelings, there’ll be no hard feelings, but as I start to pull away I am delicately hanging by your thread. Blurry Mata Hari in a sari whispering to tell her one more time. Secret, but only cause of where she keeps it. Will you be the one to leak it out? You've promised me there's nothing there, but I know I feel it, I know I feel it. You've got me hanging in mid air I know I feel it, I know I feel it. And if you want to turn my head, it’s delicately hanging by your thread.
3.
The Sound 03:45
Oh no, It's gone. It's dead, it's done. You brought it down to hear the sound it made at last, a final gasp, just cause you wanted to hear the sound of death. And I, I don't blame you. I don't wanna hang you by yourself. And I, I don't hate you. I could never bring myself to that. I guess why not prevent the rot. I guess die young, so we can just be rid of you a little sooner. So we can just forget you even existed. I try to say I'm over it, but I always end up writing one more song. And oh, sweet forgiveness. There was once a stiffness in the way I remembered that fucking long November, when time, time appraised itself. Time will one day tear us all away.
4.
I'm sorry my dear, but enough is enough, the more sorry we are the less we're just in love. If this distance makes any more fondness grow, it'll be cracking right up through the floor. But I love my loneliness, cause to a child, a firecracker is the Fourth of July. You smile from the porch in a firefly night, as I roll around. I'm scraping my kneecaps and staring, mouth-open, into trails of light. If this distance makes any more fondness grow, it'll be cracking right up through the floor. But I love my loneliness, cause to a child a firecracker is the Fourth of July.
5.
Ghost Town 04:00
Anton, he was a mastodon. Worked on the railroad, lived on a sailboat. Traded it in at the Bargain Bin, so he could go and buy the farm. Irving reeked of his learning, sweaters and brimstone, weak in the wrist-bone. Started with football, then king of the dance hall, until he kicked the calendar. There's a bar in Barcelona, saddles are the seats and if you give a nod to the right person, drinks are free. So, we would liquor up and softly stumble to the sea. You couldn't count the stars because there was no night between. Martha smoked a cigar, but not in the shop, cause that's what her pop does. Begging forgiveness of the family business, she wanted to become a star. Heather lived on a tether. The cage was rusting and Mom was disgusting. Dad fought for freedom. She wanted to meet him, but he would not be coming home. And when the water wasn't any wetter than the sky, we began to drink the drink that finally drank us dry. The only thing I thought of as I felt it filter by: There'd better be wild horses at this ghost town in the sky.
6.
Fear 05:15
I'm afraid of knowledge. Everything I learn has tainted me. Freedom comes with courage, not by seeing all that you can see. And on my knees you have found me serving, but the best of servants are not seen. And under me, all my roots are growing. If I hack them up and down this tree, you won't see me again. You know you won't see me. You won't see me in the morning. Freedom comes with courage. There will not be anyone but me. And you will see, what was once a vestige, is a man who knows he now must be. You won't see me again. You know, you won't see me. I'm afraid of nothing. Line 'em up there right in front of me and you will see something under my courage, it will let you know what it's like to be me. And what will be of the life we've made here? What will come of all our luxuries? Will they always be around? I'm afraid of nothing. There is not a thing you can do to me. And I will be totally undaunted by the things you say in front of me. And I have been living in your fortress, underneath your war chest. Don't you see?
7.
She's like a siren singing in reverse, cacophonating through the universe. Her barometric eyebrow phasing, rapidly pulsating sense of truth. Will your vibrancy confusticate your fuse? Will your radiating pulse and rhythm overwhelm your cylinders with use? And he's afraid of being on his own. He's catalytic conversational. He keeps his hands at two and ten and anxiously awaits oncoming views, but the more I gain the more I must refuse. An invasion of the body-snatchers, waiting for someone to capture me. And she can only stay, just for a while. She's saving time 'till it comes back in style. She's packing up her overnight and chiding "there's no point in fighting me, for I cannot die, I can only change my leaves. I'll be back tomorrow evening leaving shortly after morning, after noon" And he has heard the rain come down in sheets. He lay there by the window for a week. He dreamed he took the fire escape and stalked his way across to Clarkson St. As he, silent, jumped the borderline between something grey and something ancient, thought he "my, oh, what a burden we must breathe." And I imagine if she was in town, you wouldn't be so haphazardly wound, pretending these excuses aren't the nooses that you use to criticize. You know better than to belly up and die. You have cloaked yourself in other's safety. Come on. Let's be honest baby: You know it's not like that. Nobler reasons will not leave you tread upon more softly. If you know it's a not fair fight, then why on earth are you so slow to turn around? Are you awaiting a changing of the guard? The efficacious death of some great star? Unceremonious and fading backwards, fading faster, fading free. I can see it in the bait between your teeth You have set a course for failure. You have sailed yourself toward the reef.
8.
If we knew other people to hold onto, then would we know how many others we must let go? So, as I grow, I find the ones that I'd like to know. And please, please forget all of the pieces that I have set, because when the time it comes, your board is what I am walking from. And she put her red dress on and she orbited the room and she soon withdrew from the presence of the fumes that were echoing from the mouths of everyone that she knew. She knew. And I'm not sure what we could disagree about. I feel you, as a whole, are on the up and up, but if you cannot meet me in the middle and concede to give it all to me, then then will I be forced to act a way I don't like? For the sake of both of us, don't make me feel I'm so dangerous. Because if you do, I'm afraid I'll get carried away, and I'll cause such a mess that the rest of the day, I'll be tied to supply all that I cannot pay, so please, don't leave it up to me. Twice a week, Marcus Aurelius, he comes to speak. And it always starts out great, but he ends up boasting about his slaves. And if Genghis Khan, he comes this evening, prepare to run. And don't allow record collectors to slow you down. Because if they do, be afraid! They'll get carried away. And they'll cause such a mess that the rest of the day they'll be tied to supply for what they cannot pay, so please, leave it up to me. In all her fairy tales, a red carpet wedding to the Prince of Wales. But then, white dress fatigue. It made her sullen It made her weak.
9.
Blood Stone 04:33
Horror films and news reports, watching dizzy girls contort and growing old and getting short, being hunted just for sport, monsters living in the dark, dogs with bites worse than their bark, people saying "we should talk", getting famous, being stalked. Nothing frightens you, but I can smell your fear. Cause not a word I've said has ended in your ear. It went into your hair, it's never coming out. It tangled with the wind, knotted with the doubt. We are not getting younger We'll only get what we deserve. We are not getting younger We only get our blood from stones. Because what scares you most is I'm starting to make sense and nothing you can do is adequate defense, so why not live with it? We are not getting younger. We'll only get what we deserve. We are not getting younger. We only get our blood from stones.
10.
Why We Stay 06:50
I don't know, I don't know why I need you so bad. There are times, times every day that I wish that I had never known, never known that you even exist, but if you, but if you leave me, you would not be missed. I can see that you're aching, not much left for breaking. Your mind is a bottomless pit that swallows you whole, when you've lost all control, and you're screaming that you just need to sit. You started to cry, till your water supply demanded you feel some other way. And your wristband was barbed, and your Indian garb was betraying you. You just kept saying "Okay..." But I don't know why you stay. For all that I've done to you, why you stay. If even you don't know why you stay, then that's enough reason to know why you have to leave. Not that you, not that you even need me around. I cannot, I cannot be your council to the crown. You need some, you need someone who needs to be you. But what I, but what I need is in relation to relying on chemical fixes and drug induced mixes and leaning on this crutch. But how can my voice, your prophetic choices be heard when one cigarette's still just too much? I've sobered up now, but how 'bout tomorrow? My crowning achievement's been drowning myself in one moment kicks I get from these tricks, but all I end up tricking is myself. And if even I don't know why I stay, then how can anyone know why I stay? But I think the real reason why I stay, is cause I can't find a reason why I have to leave. My radical views are all tantamount to all the ugliest social injustices, but if I know myself, then tomorrow the wealth of my thoughts today will be tomorrow's smut. Deep down, if I'm honest, what I hinge upon is the glory of being told I'm wrong, so I'm counting on you to know to see me the moment I start to talk too long. And if we never know why we stay, and if we're real about why we stay, and if we don't ask why we stay, then no one can tell us why we have to leave.

about

An interwoven collection of new songs, re-imagined songs, and things I've been sitting on for far too long.

credits

released August 23, 2014

Recorded in my apartment in Queens, New York.
Mastered by Ariel Loh.

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Jack Frederick Brooklyn, New York

Jack Frederick is a multi-instrumental songwriter from New York.

His music has been featured in MTV's The World of Jenks, Hunger Artist Film's The Fighter, Eric Douglas Ward's Prolix, and others.

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